YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
