Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My ATM looks so different sober.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
