I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
