U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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