All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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