I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize