I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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