I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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