The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
