whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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