Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
