I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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