I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
