i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
