I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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