you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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