dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
