You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
