Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
