i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
foreskin is a definite game changer
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
