Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like a drive thru vagina
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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