how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
