I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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