Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
