so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
