your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
