Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just high enough for therapy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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