I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When are your genitals available?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
