I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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