so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
