she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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