I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize