some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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