Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
