its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
look no pants
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
