he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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