Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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