I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
