And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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