Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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