Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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