My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
