College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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