oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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