just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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