This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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