so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
