It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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