Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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