He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize