DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You've changed since you got that strap on
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
