And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
