I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
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Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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