if only i could text you this smell
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
