so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sarcasm needs its own font
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
did i just pee glitter
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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