One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
