I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
