he shaved USA in his pubs
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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