i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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