I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
