I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
